The Birth of Silas Jude

We love this personal birth story from one of our sweet moms!

My first birth was a dream. I was 38 weeks and 3 days and I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions like crazy for weeks, so I didn’t even realize that I was in early labor and stayed in bed and slept between contractions. My water broke at 6am and he was born at 12! It was relatively quick and intense and unmedicated and I loved it. All through my second pregnancy everyone told me labor would be even faster and easier this time and get ready to jet to the hospital when it’s time!

Again, I had Braxton Hicks contractions all the time, often every 3-5 minutes for hours. I felt like I wasn’t going to make it full term but I was still hoping to get to at least 37 weeks so I could use the birthing center at St. Thomas midtown. Then one night, at 36 weeks and 5 days, we were finishing up a show on TV and I had been having contractions the whole evening, and I stood up to go to the bathroom before heading to bed and I felt a trickle when I stood up. I went ahead to the bathroom and afterwards even more fluid leaked out. It was 9pm. I started crying. I wasn’t ready for this baby, it was too soon! We weren’t done moving Wells into his new room. I hadn’t made enough freezer meals. I didn’t feel like I had enough one on one time with Wells yet. And I wasn’t 37 weeks. I knew the baby would be fine, but wanted him to wait at least a few more days and better yet another week or two.

I called my OB’s office and the nurse told me that it was likely urine. I told her I was very sure it was not, but she told me to wait an hour and see what happens then call back. So I did, and reported fluid continued to trickle out slowly, especially when the baby moved. She still wasn’t convinced it was amniotic fluid. She said to call back in the morning, or go to the hospital overnight if I started having contractions that were close together and painful. So I tried to sleep. I had some contractions overnight but not active labor, and I was too anxious to sleep much. 

I called again in the morning to say I was still slowly leaking fluid but not in active labor. My OB wanted me to come in to triage at the hospital to be monitored and to test the fluid to see if it was amniotic fluid or not. I took my time and showered and finished packing our bag and we headed in around 9:30am.

In triage she put me on the monitor and the baby was doing great. She checked my cervix and my water fully ruptured with a gush all over the bed. I was only 2-3cm and still not in active labor. Since my water had been broken 12 hours, they went ahead and admitted me to labor and delivery where my OB came and told me I still had time to wait for active labor to start on its own. She knew I wanted an unmedicated birth and did not want to be induced and she was willing to be patient. They brought me a breast pump to try to get labor going, and a birthing ball. I spent the entire day pacing around the room, doing figure 8’s on the ball, squatting, and using the breast pump every 15 minutes for 15 minutes. Due to coronavirus we were not allowed outside of our room.  In the evening, my OB came back and said that as we approach 24 hours of my water breaking, I start to have an increased risk for infection. She said that doesn’t mean I will get an infection, just that there is an increased risk. She said we do not have to do anything at the 24 hour mark, as long as I didn’t get a fever and the baby was doing well on the monitor. So 9pm came and went and we still waited. We decided to just rest for the night and stop with all the squatting and walking, but still didn’t get much sleep. Being in a noisy hospital hooked to a monitor is not exactly a great environment for rest.

My OB came around at 7am again and we had a talk - it was coming up on 36 hours being ruptured and still no active labor. She suggested it was time for a little pitocin and I agreed that it was time to do something. The hope was that I may need only a little bit to kick my body into labor and then could either just have a low dose or turn it off. So after almost 24 hours in the hospital, not being allowed to eat solid food, no good sleep in 2 nights, I started pitocin. It took 2.5-3 hours for contractions to pick up. Around 10:30/11am they were starting to feel more intense so I told my doula Sandee I was ready for her to come. 

By the time Sandee arrived I was needing to close my eyes and breathe or moan through each contraction. Since I was on pitocin I had to have continuous monitoring, which meant either in bed or right beside the bed on the birthing ball. For both of my labors, I felt best just lying on my side and relaxing, so it didn’t bother me to be on the monitor. I used a peanut ball between my knees to keep my pelvis open while side lying. The rate of pitocin was increased every 30 minutes or so. It started at 0.5 and doubled each time. By the time it was at 4, contractions were really intense. When it was increased to 8, I started feeling like I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I was so tired, so weak from not eating for so long. And I truly think a lot of it was mental - knowing that pitocin was the cause of the contractions and if we just turned it off, they would stop. With my first labor, it was unmedicated and everything happened so fast that I didn’t have any option but to get through each contraction. There was no thought that I could just turn it off if I wanted to. I think that was the most challenging part of my second labor - accepting it and being motivated to get through it even though contractions were caused by medication. 

After a little while with pitocin at 8, I asked to turn it down to see if my body would take over. My nurse decreased it to 4, and contractions continued, so she turned it off. This is when they stalled out to every 10-15 minutes. It was so nice to have a break, but I knew I was going to need pitocin to continue. My OB came in and checked me and I was only at a 4 so we turned the pitocin back on. This is where I really started to fall apart. I couldn’t stop crying. It was too hard and I didn’t want to do it anymore. I wanted an epidural. There was no way I could continue on, I was too tired. The thought of pain relief was so appealing. My nurse and OB both told me there was nothing wrong with an epidural, but they also knew I didn’t want one for many reasons and so they were supportive of whichever choice I made. My husband and Sandee reminded me that I could do it without if I wanted but it was ok to get one if I needed to. I told my nurse I just felt so tired and so weak and she said she was going to bring me a popsicle and if I still wanted the epidural after the popsicle, then she’d call anesthesia.

I sat on the edge of the bed to eat my popsicle and the contractions were so intense. I had to lean forward onto my husband with each one, while Sandee did hip squeezes and used the rebozo scarf. It felt so so good when she did that during a contraction! It wasn’t a long time that I labored like that on the bed. That popsicle gave me life and I wanted to wait awhile longer before deciding I needed an epidural. My OB came back in the room and my nurse wanted to go empty my bladder. Contractions while walking and on the toilet were the absolute worst for me, and I think my OB knew I was making real progress because she asked to check me when I got back in bed. I couldn’t believe it but I was 8cm!! It had been less than an hour since they turned the pitocin back on. I was so relieved and had renewed energy and knew the end was near! Only 2 contractions later and I felt enormous pressure and another contraction and felt the need to push. My OB told me to go ahead and I couldn’t believe I had made it! Everyone was rushing to get things set up - they still didn’t have the delivery tray, and I remember my OB saying if they didn’t hurry they would be too late.

My biggest regret with my first birth was the way the nurses coached me to push while bearing down. During this pregnancy I practiced breathing more and learned about how to breathe the baby down with open glottis pushing instead of bearing down. So I was on my side, with the peanut ball between my legs and Sandee reminded me to breathe the baby down gently. I did that with each contraction, and it only took a few and he was born! I could feel him moving down and had such control. It was the best experience. I’m so thankful that I was able to deliver on my side and breathe him gently out, and that my OB was supportive and no one ever told me to push or how to push. They were pleased with how I was doing it and it was very effective!

My baby boy was born at 2:24pm, just 7 hours after Pitocin was started, and only an hour and a half after my labor stalled out and I was 4 cm. He was 6lbs and 6oz. My water had been ruptured for 41 hours by the time he was born, and all the nurses were so concerned about infection for me and for the baby, but we were both perfectly healthy. 

I never thought I’d need pitocin for my second birth after having such an easy first birth. I was so upset when my water broke early and I wasn’t in active labor. But in the end, it turned out fine. I did need pitocin, but it honestly wasn’t that different from unmedicated birth, as long as I could get it out of my head that the contractions were caused by medication. I’ll be forever grateful for Sandee, who supported me so well, and for my OB, who was so patient and did everything she could to help me have the birth I wanted. 

Silas Jude is the sweetest gift. He is my second IVF baby, and just as much a miracle as his big brother!